I Needed Time to Stay Useful

What do you choose? A poisoned rose, or a knife in the shadows?
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Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2016 8:17 pm

I Needed Time to Stay Useful

Postby Colibri » Mon Mar 23, 2020 2:54 pm

The letter found its way to one of the tables in the common area of the Hollow. The handwriting was poor, scrawled, and yet the message behind it was clear –

The wheeler-knight had decided, without coercion, that it was time to learn about his place in the world, what he was, and who he wanted to be in the end. The answer to his own slide into isolation had come to him one evening when sleep and self-medication weren’t providing him with what he needed for his own well-being and a thought of what are you doing struck home.


Ever have one of those moments when you wake up and decide to actively do something instead of waiting around for it to come to you, or happen? That’s what I’m looking at right now. It’s kind of pointless to worry about what others think when you know next to nothing about yourself. Other people are getting jobs, moving ahead, learning, getting recruited to a Court. The key word here is moving ahead. I’ve been made to move and take point. Sitting back and not taking the first movement to my own wants isn’t a good thing. Sleeping, getting high, aren’t good things as much as I’ve been doing them. Being complacent kills – I remember something of that from before – and maybe it’s time I decide to live instead of wait.

If I can’t, won’t or forget how to take care of myself then what use am I to anyone else around me?

Does that make sense?

I’m not leaving the Freehold, or the Hollow right now, simply because I don’t have anywhere else to go. I'm not going to bail on you - the motely - either if I can help it. Hopefully I can find some perspective with what I feel, what I need to do, and who I want to be. I’m starting to see that there are people who can help me with it. Even if I don’t find any tangible support, at the very least I can say I tried, and that is a hell of a lot more than what I’ve been doing since our escape.

Take care of yourselves, and each other.


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